Thursday, December 29, 2005

Bugs... stuck to my boot of DOOM!

There seem to be some bugs in the system. Until I figure it out I'm not going to try editing the last post. Every time I try to fix it it seems to get more messy.

Clearly... the opossums have inflitrated the system...


Problem Fixed!

And the moral of the story is... Microsoft Word sucks hard with tongue of yak... and don't even get me started about the pillow talk!


The Age Old Debate of Lizard and Ape

I called up a friend of mine about a week or two before Christmas to find him caught up with some friends in the age-old debate that for some reason is going on.

Who would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong?

How is there even a contest? I love Kong as much as you can love a big gorilla without PETA needing to intervene, but he simply would not stand a chance against the King of the Monsters in a real battle. For one, Kong is an ape. He's a very big ape, but nonetheless he's an ape. That's his power. He's big, smart and strong. I really think people have forgotten (on account of all the other superhuman monsters he's fought and the occasional comic that has some fool scaling his back) that Godzilla is... HIGHLY RADIOACTIVE! Go back to the original film. In his wake were left hundreds suffering from radiation burns. It's practically dripping from his skin. Kong be Killed just by the prolonged exposure to him. He also has been known to breath powerful blasts of nuclear fire at his opponents... though it isn't very common... I should hardly even mention it... it's only about as likely to go down as your average imported Chow Yun-Fat movie having a gunfight.

The fact is Kong has nothing against Godzilla. A couple dinky planes from World War I can bring down the ape, but the lizard has been known to sleep in the belly of a Volcano without much complaint! Still some persist let us get down to the debate factor to end all debate.


Somewhere between 18 and 24 feet tall. In the original they almost doubled his height once he got to the city so that his rampage could be more devastating. He needed a boost to take on New York.


164.04 feet tall baby! In the original 1954 film he was 50 meters. His American height of 400 feet was apparently a translation mistake. Damn metric system... like anyone actually uses it.

Godzilla would stomp Kong's ass like Bambi in a field of daisies.

Now the heights of both have been known to vary (mostly due to budgets for building model cities) and if you want to argue my numbers above then consider this... Both original films have a train attack scene. Kong is smaller than one car on the train that he derails, while Godzilla simply picks up his train and scarves it like link sausage!

Any questions?

Q: What about the film King Kong Vs. Godzilla, where Kong defeats Godzilla?

A: *Bitchslap!*

Though it is true that the myth of a alternate ending is false, there are so many things wrong with that film... any loving fan of either lizard or ape should be ashamed of yourself for claiming that either of those two clowns are Kong and Godzilla. Godzilla is not vulnerable to lightning! I mean sure like any weapon it can hurt him in theory, but as an actual big weakness... no. The scene where they have Godzilla held back by fear of power lines is so ridiculous... it makes Son of Godzilla look intelligent!

And then there is Kong... When did he turn into Raiden? This super powers crap is particularly funny if you're aware of the earlier scripted idea for the ending of the original King Kong... where it is not fighter plains but lightning that send him flying off the empire state building. Toho Kong is just as ridiculous as GINO. The film simply does not count.

So... I hope this helps settle things. I've got to go eat some dumplings now.


Wednesday, December 28, 2005

New Year's Movie Marathon

Here’s an idea I haven’t thought of before… Movies to watch on New Year's Eve.

Hmmm… well let’s see… you can always go with a well-rounded double feature of American Graffiti and Strange Days

Actually, I’m probably going to be out of town and not in a position to do much movie watching, but appropriate or not this is the kind of marathon I’m feeling the urge for this new year’s eve: a big pile of Kathryn Bigelow, Walter Hill and Alex Proyas movies. For those that are scratching their heads right now, I’m mostly talking about Bigelow and Proyas’ work in the 80s. All three directors are great at making atmospheric night films. Here are some of the ones I’m thinking of.

Kathryn Bigelow:

Strange Days.

The only new years film in this lot I think. It’s disturbing as hell for one of the more lower end cyberpunk films out there. It’s a heck of a lot better than Johnny Mnemonic though… so I should probably reconsider what company I put this in. Great cast and a script from none other than James Cameron!

Point Break.

Speaking of Neo! Admit it, this film is one of the great things about the 80s. It’s not like fessing up to liking ABBA. The film kicks ass and if you’ve seen it, you know it. Mr. Anderson should only play surfers roles… or Canadian productions of Shakespeare… like Merchant in Venice and Hamlet. “Dude… am I like… not a man?” That is all. Period.

Near Dark.

Tied with The Lost Boys as one of the best vampire movies of the 80ds (The Hunger just didn’t do it for me, though I should really give it another try). There has been a long debate about the dialog in this film. Some people say it’s the cheesiest ever written and acted EVER, the other side says it is right on the money for that period and local. I’ve know people that lived in both area and time who say she nailed it, and my money is with them. Oh, and it has half the cast from Aliens! What’s not to love?

Walter Hill:


“Warriors… come out and play…” Avoid the new directors cut like the plague. I’ve heard stories it’s a complete muck up of a perfectly good film. A perfectly good film filled with some of the most gloriously over the top gangs to ever grace celluloid. Classic!

48 Hrs.

A little humor to the mix! Actually, you can skip this one if you want. I haven’t seen it in years and it might be too far off theme. Still… one of the best things Eddie was ever in! Right up there with the much too under appreciated Harlem Nights.

Streets of Fire

God I love this cracked out film. You could just take this and go in a totally different direction. It would be great in a marathon with Big Trouble in Little China, I Come in Peace, and Cobra! I mean… it’s a film set in some kind of hybrid decade. Part 50s and part 80s. With of all things, I crochet mallet duel for a final showdown!

Alex Proyas:

The Crow.

As Underworld 2 shows… we still have yet to recover from the onslaught of Interview With a Vampire and The Crow, but who cares! The Crow was one of the best comic book films since Dick Tracy. And Proyas is in many ways the next generation… the spawn of directors like Kathryn Bigelow and Walter Hill. He may lack that character charm that they had, but he makes up for it with worlds that tide me over just fine until Jean-Pierre Jeunet gets back in touch with his darker Marc Caro side.

Dark City.

Who needs Matrix when you can have Dark City? Yes… I’m dead serous.

The other nice thing about a marathon of these three for me is that they all have films that look really good that I have not seen. Proyas’ Spirits of the Air, Gremlins of the Clouds sounds fantastic! Walter Hill did a film called Hard Times starring Charles Bronson and James Coburn! I’ve heard good things about it, but the cast and plot summery alone have me sold. Kathryn Bigelow’s first film The Loveless helped William Dafoe on his way up the ladder. Bigelow is great at capturing the feel and culture of small areas as she’s shown with Near Dark and Point Break. I’d love to see what she did with the greaser biker scene in that film.

Other films you could throw in from outside the trio for good measure are the Bad Boys (the 1983 film starring Sean Penn that is), Judgment Night, and Escape From New York. Well… you probably ought to consider sleeping at some point during this… so we’ll leave it there.

If anyone uses this, hope ya enjoy!


How could I possibly be unhappy with Fantastic 42?

So… it’s pretty well known by now in most comic book and film geek circles that the big chimps in Hollywood are planning another Fantastic Four movie. As much as I wish I could say this is one of those Exorcist prequel scenarios where they did make a decent film but then decided to shelve it and make a shitty blockbuster with CGI hyenas rejected from Diablo 2: THE MOVIE only to then release the original in an attempt to stave back the swarm of franticly flustered seagullian marquee squawkers… I’m afraid they are just giving us a sequel… that presumably learned nothing from the first films mistakes, which is sad. I mean jeez, I’m not even a fan of the Fantastic Four comics, and just the previews to that flick poured the boil of my sack-o-kittens.

If the studios want to give us more rubber-man action, I say bring on Sky High 2! That puppy did it right. Probably the most fun I’ve had watching a silly children’s film since Cats & Dogs. If you missed it, by all means it’s worth a rent or a movie channel viewing… especially if you liked Cats & Dogs and grew up on Nickelodeon back in the day.

But isn’t Sky High basically a poor man’s Harry Potter/Incredibles hybrid? Well… yeah… But it’s a damn good poor man’s Harry Potter/Incredibles hybrid with Kurt Russell, Bruce Campbell, Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald and… Lynda Carter! The overall jokes are pretty decent and each of the before mentioned actors shine along with many of the teen actors. The restraint used in regard to CGI was a breath of fresh air. I mean it’s there, but a lot of things are done with props, which gives it a nicer feeling.

There is really something about the physical that looks fake, versus the CGI that almost looks real. It’s like with props, you’re playing make believe the way you did as a kid with plastic swords and stuff. The feeling even spills into the goofy CGI that is in Sky High. With CGI drenched films like Fantastic Four though, you feel like your being lied to by the worst poker player in the world. The props are more playful, with a few breakaway wall effects that I hope are actually incorporated into more serious action moves. The way they did the scene where they threw Steven Strait (Warren Peace) through the wall was actually pretty cool on a technical level.

Over all it’s a silly kids movie, so in that regard I imagine it won’t be the solution to many pissed off F4 fans out there, but I sure as hell enjoyed it on a slow Saturday afternoon at home.


Tuesday, December 27, 2005


So a terrible, terrible thing has happened. I have a blog it would seem. Now the world can read my ever so important opinions about all kinds of important things that are important.

Actually I’ll probably just ramble about opossums and whatever random movie pops into my head. This really is kind of a prototype to learn how to blog and figure out what I want to blog about. I expect this will turn into a movie review blog of sorts, focusing more on older films I think people should check out than necessarily what’s new. With time I’ll drop some more info about me as this takes shape.

So that’s the plan for now. It might change as time goes on, but that’s kind of how things work. We shall see when we get there. Hope someone enjoys!