Sunday, January 08, 2006

Wow... They sure do love beating undead horses!

So I was pretty tired and trying to get my last article done when I came across these...

Return of the Living Dead 4: Necropolis

Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave

Just... wow... that is some kind of monkey raping rodent poo in your fruit cellar dwelling grandma's linen drawer level of crazy there. Oh, and they were both released in 2005!

I mean... I could ponder if they simply didn't learn from House of the Dead that nobody likes raver zombies... but... wow...

The same thing has happened with the Hellraiser series. These really crappy straight to rental sequels that have little to nothing to do with the classics. I think the last Hellraiser used a FeardotCom's concept... so you know that had to be good.

DVDs and the subsequent downloading movement has been a real double edged sword for horror. On one hand they have made it easy to distribute old obscure classics that fans used to only be able to see if their cousin in Texas made them a VHS copy of his that was recorded over his little sister's She-Ra tapes. It also makes it a lot easier for independent filmmakers to make their art accessible. I just wish they would leave stuff like this alone. In the end, I guess it's worth it... cause now I own a nice copy of Carnival of Souls and Cabinet of Doctor Caligari!

Speaking of which... that brings up another pet peeve of mine.

There seems to be a little movement of late to take old horror classics and, not remake them... but actually alter the original with new footage! And some people are looking at this as an improvement!

The big two that have come to my attention are the 30th Aniversery Night of the Living Dead: Survivor's Cut, and this ultimate act of blasphemy... a revisioning of Cabinet of Doctor Caligari!

For those not familiar with the silent classic, Cabinet is considered the first cult horror film. It is also considered the first intelligent horror film. Those twist endings in M. Night films and Fight Club that everyone used to go on and on about... yeah, the Germans were doing that in the 1920s!

Look, I'm very sketchy about remakes. I love some but hate most. Still, if you want to make a homage to one of your favorite horror films. Go ahead! Make it! Doing so tends to open up a market to re-release (often with nice remastering jobs and goodies) the original, exposing it to a new generation. JUST DON'T GO BACK AND BUTCHER THE CLASSIC! It sickens me that when I go on IMDB to look up Night of the Living Dead it shows Dean Lachiusa name next to George A. Romero's as if he actually co-directed the classic. No, what Dean Lachiusa did was cut out whole scenes and replace them with stuff he shot, add color to parts and imply that he could do a better job then Romero. That's in my book is plain old disrespect. No two ways about it.

I've got to go clean up some fried banana now.

Peace.

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